|
|
Sunday, November 25th, 2007
| |
1:48 pm - Yesterday...
|
Was actually a lot of fun =D
Prolly one of the best nights I've had in a while. Caitlin's bf came back from Texas and we all hung out at my house and had a good ol' time. All of us being Kelly, Caitlin, John, Jimmy, Kelly and I. So anyone that knows us can figure it out: lot's of laughs, jokes, light-hearted insults.. the works haha.
Hopefully we'll have a night like that sometime soon again!
current mood:  happy
|
|
(cut my words)
|
| Monday, September 24th, 2007
| |
9:40 pm - Dream Thing
|
So I had another fucked up dream/nightmare thing the other night. Now, I've had other really scary ones before, but this one was more disturbing than anything.
I was in my living room, sitting on my couch and I remember staring out the bay window at our front yard. I had a tube in my mouth and attached to that was a bag that hung in front of me. This was this plastic ring that held the bag in place. Every time I exhaled into this bag, I would exhale blood into it. I had some sort of disease. The bag started getting really full. Subconsciously, I knew that when the bag filled up, I would die.
A few breaths later, I paniced and ran to my kitchen sink. Somehow I got the tube out of my mouth and dumped this bag of blood into the sink. I was leaning over the sink, just breathing, but still exhaling all this blood. Everything was silent, almost muffled. I heard someone say "If you just go to sleep, it'll be easier," meaning that if I sleep I'll die more peacefully I guess.
I then feel someone's hands pushing my shoulders down onto a bed. I try to go to sleep but I can't because I'm facing the ceiling and choking on all this blood I keep exhaling. It's all over my mouth and face, and I keep sputtering because I can't breathe. I keep inhaling the blood I've already coughed up. I gagged loud.
Then I woke up. I couldn't get back to sleep either, because I kept thinking the dream would continue if I went back to sleep.
current mood:  distressed
|
|
(cut my words)
|
| Thursday, September 6th, 2007
| |
11:56 pm - Updates and all that
|
HM, what goes on with me?
Well, I got a new job, so that's pretty cool. The only bad thing about that is that it will push back the time I have to spend on making dread orders. My days off are Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday, but by the time I can actually sit down to start dreading, I'm too tired.
I still have two orders to complete within the next 2 weeks or so lol. So that's 120 dreads. Fuck.
Uh, I have been buying things left and right lol. Just bought some DVD's and a pair of cyberlox hairfalls, so I'm waiting on those to arrive.
I dyed the roots of my hair blue on Sunday and my scalp is STILL stained. After I get my last set of extensions out, I'm going to let it grow out and dye it red for a while.
That's about it. Random pics to come soon.
|
|
(cut my words)
|
| Saturday, September 1st, 2007
| |
12:13 am - Things are out of my hands
|
I hate that feeling, of not being able to set things right by myself. I wish I could personally resolve all of my problems. I mean, there's really nothing I can do about the things that are concerning me.
-I don't see my "good" friends nearly as much as I used to. It's been a boring couple of weeks, sometimes I feel like they're going out of their way to make themselves scarce of me. I'm almost 100% true that's not the case, but I just feel that way sometimes.
-My uncle has this weird bacteria I suppose which caused him to have a minor stroke. He's going to be in the hospital for six weeks getting pumped full of antibiotics.
-Things at home have turned bitter and tense because of our living situation.
-I'm feeling increasingly paranoid by every passing day; I don't know if some of the thoughts I have are foolish or not.
Not much I can do about these things except push them aside as best I can. I've made as much effort as I can with these problems. Maybe I just need to sit back and not try so hard? I dunno. Good advice would be cool about now.
Of course, I can't really do ANYTHING about my uncle except visit him. I just hope he recovers from it well; he's a cool guy. Musician, writer, down to earth. Good person.
current mood:  Concerned
current music: "Korn and the muthafuckin' Franchise Boys!"
|
|
(cut my words)
|
| Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
| |
11:53 am - Just Found Out..
|
My aunt, the one who was diagnosed with ALS, is going into I guess what is called a "private room" tomorrow. So she'll be taken off all the resperators and things she's on, and given some sort of seditive where she'll be comfortable, but not have a doped mentality. And pretty much, everyone is going to say their goodbyes to her.
Now, we're not POSITIVE she'll get into the room tomorrow, because apparently there is an availability problem, but it looks like tomorrow's the day.
It's weird. I'm not sad right now, I'm just relieved. I'm sure I'll be sad when she actually passes away though. But she's been suffering with all this for around 3 years now, and subsequently, her friends, family and husband have all been suffering. Now, finally, people get to rest. Granted, there will be mourning of course, but, all the worry about her health will be over. I hope that's not a real terrible thing to be thinking. I don't really think it is. It's not like I WANT her to die, but it's just a relief factor I guess.
current mood: relieved
|
|
(cut my words)
|
| |
11:11 am - And also...
|
I've come to the dramatic conclusion OF:
I'm highly attracted to lime green things. Pretty much anything lime green. I'm like a moth to a flame.
|
|
(cut my words)
|
| Sunday, August 12th, 2007
| |
6:39 pm - People
|
People are doing a lot of things recently that I never expected out of them. Particularly hurtful things, and not just to me either. It's odd; I wonder if they know they're doing it, or they're going out of their way to do these things.
Bah, I'm so tired of people in this area I just want to move away, but I can't like, the grand total of 3 people that I want to stay around for. Not yet at least.
Hm, maybe I'm just paranoid and all of this is in my head? o__O
current mood:  blank
current music: Cannibal Corpse
|
|
(1 rot for me | cut my words)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
infant_finate's journal